Give Me Love: Larry Stylinson
by KatStylinson
Summary: *TRIGGER WARNING: INVOLVES DEPRESSION AND SELF HARM* *ALSO SMUT AT SOME POINT* Louis and Harry have been best mates since the day they met, but lately they've been drifting apart. Lately, Lou has been looking at him differently, trying to shake the thoughts from his head, but he is fairly convinced that he has feelings for Harry, and doesn't know what to do about it.
1. Chapter 1

Harry placed a finger under Louis' chin, lifting his face to meet his own. He leaned forward, pressing a slow kiss to the Doncaster boy's lips. Louis, shocked, raised a trembling hand to Harry's soft mop of curls. He felt Harry began to unbutton his tan chinos, and slide a warm hand into his waistband, wrapping his long fingers around Louis'-

Louis shot up in his bed. This was the fourth night in a row he had the exact same dream. The rain tapped against the large window that was covering most of one wall. The droplets stuck to the glass, fitting together, forming a simple yet intricate mosaic. Thin, almost ghostly, white curtains hung on either side, framing the darkened world outside. A small, LED, "4:42 AM," illuminated the opposite corner of the room. Louis ran a hand through his messy fringe. His eyes were heavy as they stared off into the distance through the window. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, and stood up from his bed. His careful footsteps sank into the carpet as he passed into the kitchen. He filled the stainless steel kettle halfway full with water, and set it on the lit stove-top, careful not to wake the cheshire lad sleeping upstairs.

"What are you doing up so late?"

Louis spun around, his palms now damp and cold.

"Oh, uh, just- making some tea, you know?" Louis stammered, his shaking hands fumbling with his tea bag.

"What are you doing up so late, Harry?" he continued.

"Couldn't sleep," he coldly replied, his eyes wandering to the misty, rainy scene outside. There was a difference in him, he seemed...quiet, lost almost, but with a certain beauty about him. He was sat against the living room window, a bit bigger than the one in Louis' room, huddled in a mess of blankets and regret. The kettle whistled from behind Louis, making him flinch a little, something Harry normally would have giggled at. However, now, no such heartwarming noise escaped the boys throat.

Louis poured the boiling water into a ceramic, cream-colored mug. The small bag of various leaves, herbs, and flower buds exploded with color, the wisps of rich pinks and reds bleeding into the water. Harry remained silent. Louis grabbed a chocolate brown cashmere blanket of the back of the couch.

Chocolate brown.

The color of Harry's hair in the dream Louis had just minutes ago.

He shook the thought from his mind, and sat down, taking his place next to his best friend.

"Harry? Are you alright?" Louis spoke, in a whisper so weak, it was like he was afraid of the answer.

No response.

"Harry?" he repeated, becoming increasingly worried. A long, smoky sigh rose up from him.

"Have you ever, just, watched the people, Lou?" Harry asked, his eyes darting from side to side, scanning up and down the wet street.

"Well, yeah, but-"

"No. I mean really watched them. Busy men in grey suits, and single mothers staring daggers at the back of their kids heads when they turn around. People getting jumped, car accidents, angry citizens kicking over trash cans. So many people, everyone with their own friends and their own lives, not giving a fuck about anyone else," he continued, his voice shaking a little more with each word.

Louis sat still, bathing in each syllable Harry produced separately, until they soaked up into his pores, and pulsed through the web of veins beneath his skin, alongside his blood. Harry broke away from the streets view, just to lock onto Louis' cerulean iris'. He heard Harry say something, but was too caught up in his lips to listen. Like two pink rose petals, bending and flexing a little with every word, they kept moving, making sounds that Louis should be listening to and caring about.

"Louis?" he heard them say, and snapped out of his trance.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"You're not really one to ignore someone in need, what's going on with you, Lou?" Louis' palms began to sweat again. He opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. He sat there, gaping open like a fish out of water, which was pretty close to how he felt.

Out of place.

The phone rang behind them. Louis took the opportunity that presented itself, and stood up, bounding across the flat, and over to the phone.

"Hello?" he spoke.

"Louis lad, morning, how are ya?"

Niall.

"Oh, I'm alright, and you?" Louis responded.

"Pretty good, we have the interview today, don't forget," he chimed through the phone.

Right. The interview.

"Of course, how could I forget?" Louis lied. He felt sweat bead up and roll down the back of his neck. He was uncomfortable, and he didn't like it.

"Well, I'm off to get ready then. Go wake up Harry, and make sure he does his hair this time! " Niall laughed, and hung up. Louis took a deep breath, and set down the phone. The imprint of sweat his hand made slowly faded as he walked over to Harry.

"You going to the interview today, Haz?"

"Yea, I guess. Put on a happy face for the world, right?" he snapped, speaking probably a little more harshly than he meant to. He stood up, and walked right past Louis, up the stairs to his room, leaving the still-warm blankets in a small pile on the ground. Without warning, Louis' eyes began to sting. His knees hit the ground, tears spilling over the brims of his eyes, and in that moment, the cold, forgotten cup of tea on the counter was the only thing that could feel as alone as Louis did right then.

A/N: What do you think? Should I continue it? 3


	2. Chapter 2

"_Now, boys, is there anyone special in any of your lives?_" the interviewer pryed.

_The lights are too bright in here._

"Actually, Zayn and Liam have got girlfriends back home," Niall answered for them. They blushed beneath the makeup they were wearing.

"Yea, I've got Danielle, and Zayn has got Perrie," clarified Liam.

"_And what about you two_?" she said, gesturing to Louis and Harry. Louis choked up. His shirt shrank two sized under the bright studio lights.

"_Harry_? _Anyone special, or are you just waiting for me?_" she asked again, adding in a flirtatious stare that made Louis want to punch himself in the face. His chest burned and bubbled with anger.

"Uh, yeah. I guess. There is this one person, but, I don't know. I don't think they feel the same," he admitted.

_"And you, Louis_?"

"I'm in a pretty similar jam, actually," he said, the corners of his mouth curling up into the most plastic of smiles.

_"Well, all you can do is hope, right_?" she chirped, turning all her attention back to Harry.

_It would take a lot more than hope to get something so out of reach._

"_So, Harry, just out of curiosity, what is your criteria for the perfect girl? You can just go ahead and describe me if you run out of_ _ideas," _she purred with a wink. That was all he could take. Louis jumped up, his eyes on fire.

"Can we please just take five, actually," he have said, half yelled. The stage hands nodded, and that's when he ran. 

He bolted to the bathroom, more tears threatening to overtake the troubled boy. He threw open the door, and shut it behind him, locking the "VACANT/OCCUPIED" switch just above the doorknob. His hands shaking, he fumbled with the case to his iPhone, desperately trying to free the precious contents trapped between the case and the phone. The plastic snapped off of the back, revealing a thin silver blade, glimmering under the dull, fluorescent lights. He took the metal in his twitching hand, and rolled up the striped sleeve wrapped around his left arm. Louis painted a thin red line across the underside of his forearm.

_Spat._

A drop of crimson hit the dirty floor, making a sound only audible by one, crying, shaking boy, who was clearly pushed far past his limits. He cringed, flicking the blade across his arm again.

_Spat._

Another drop against the cool cement. Louis' tears fell as fast as the blood rushed from his fresh cuts. There was a knock on the door.

"Louis, you in there?"

It was Harry.

"Oh, yea, I'm uh-I'm just finishing up," he stammered, his voice trembling slightly.

Louis grabbed a few paper towels from the dispenser, and roughly blotted the blood from his arm. Once the bleeding ceased, he unlocked the door, silently praying that they would go home soon. Emerging from the studio bathroom, he saw that Harry was leaning next to the door.

"Hey, you alright, Lou?"

"What the hell do you care," Louis snapped, and left Harry's side, ignoring the subtle hurt in his eyes.

_You are such a fuck up Louis. How the fuck could you hurt Harry like that? No. Stop thinking like that or you'll start to cry again. Baby._

He wiped his wet cheeks with his sleeve, and sat back down on the rather uncomfortable red couch they were being interviewed on. The woman came back. She had reapplied her lipstick, and mascara, her lips a cringe-worthy shade of red and her eyelashes like two furry spiders.

_She looks like a clown. _

A guy hiding behind the web of cameras, lights, and equipment cords slowly counted down from five, as they all settled into their seats. Louis stayed still. The interviewer rapped off another pointless question, one that we've answered millions of times. No one noticed Louis wasn't talking, which relieved him greatly, but also made him unable to shake the feeling that he was forgotten. Unneeded in the group. He could disappear and no one would care, or even notice. Maybe Harry would, but only because he'd probably be the one to find me. Would he have to clean it up? The pills spilled on the ground? The blood splattered on the wall? Or would someone else do it for him? He is so sweet, he might even offer to, just so someone else wouldn't. What kind of mess would I leave him? How would I do it? Cutting is nice, but not a high enough success rate. Gun to the head? Too messy, I think, plus, where would I get a gun? It would be nice though. Have it only last a second, and then you're gone. So peaceful.

_Oh my god, I am having suicidal thoughts. I never thought it would get this bad._

"LOUIS," everyone practically shouted.

"What!?" he cried.

"She said she wants to know why you got pulled over in the "_What Makes You Beautiful" _van," Liam explained.

_Because I'm a fuck up. That's why._

"Oh yea, okay, I was driving too slow, apparently. I just don't like to go fast, I guess," Louis continued. Everyone giggled a little, and he knew it was a funny story.

_But what if they're laughing at you._

_God just please let me go home._

"_Alright, so thank you boys for taking the time to come talk to me, especially you HarBear," _their interviewer said with a wink. Harry threw up a little in his mouth. Security lead the band outside to the dark, reflective limo awaiting them. Louis got in first and sat in the back, sinking into a corner of the leather booth. Shoving his earbuds in, he turned up _"Look After You" _by _The Fray _as loud as it would go without anyone else being able to hear it. It had been his favorite song for a while now, but the lyrics had never fit him more. He carefully took in every subtle note and pronounced beat the song had to offer, almost bringing him to tears. If he were alone right now, he would be collapsing in a heap of loneliness and a heavy self loathing, shattering himself to a million pieces, easily beyond repair. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the cool glass, mentally singing the lyrics that passed him by.

**_If I don't say this now I will surely break_**  
**_As I'm leaving the one I want to take_**  
**_Forget the urgency but hurry up and wait_**  
**_My heart has started to separate_**

**_Oh, oh, oh_**  
**_Oh, oh, oh_**  
**_Be my baby_**  
**_Oh, oh, oh_**  
**_Oh, oh, oh_**  
**_Oh, oh, oh_**  
**_Be my baby_**  
**_I'll look after you_**

Louis' head and body ached. He just wanted to be home. In bed. With Harry. He wanted to feel his blood pumping beneath his skin, his lungs expanding and contracting with each even breath he took.

**_There now, steady love, so few come and don't go  
Will you, won't you be the one I'll always know?  
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around  
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down_**

Oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh  
Be my baby  
Oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh  
Be my baby  
I'll look after you  
And I'll look after you

The skin on his wrist stung, but Louis ignored it. What would the world do if they found out? What would the band do? _What would Harry do?_

**If ever there was a doubt  
My love she leans into me  
This most assuredly counts  
She says most assuredly**

****When singing along, Louis always made sure to change the "she" to a "he", to fit his current situation a little better. He could feel Harry's cold stare from across the limo. Despite the way it made him sweat, and flushed out his cheeks, Louis didn't care.

_**It's always have and never hold  
You've begun to feel like home  
What's mine is yours to leave or take  
What's mine is yours to make your own**_

A/N: Ok, I'm pretty sure this update sucks, so I'm sorry, but tHANK YOU TO THOSE OF WHO COMMENTED JESUS that made my day. Ok, tell me when/if you want me to update again, I already wrote most of it. Love youuu xx


	3. Chapter 3

Louis pulled the thick white comfiture over his head, letting out a deep sigh. His wrist burned from earlier that day, and his cheeks were stained with fresh tears.

_I cry too much._

He was ashamed of himself. The rain continued to fall from that morning, making music against the glass.

_Will it ever stop raining in this stupid place?_

There was a knock on his bedroom door.

"C-come in," he said, clutching the stitching in his left sleeve. Harry shuffled through the door, his eyes locked on the shaking boy in his queen size bed. The bed sank when Harry sat down, pulling Louis towards him a little. He scooted back.

"I'm sorry."

Louis breath hitched in his throat. Never had he seen Harry so gone. He was hunched over, avoiding eye contact with Louis at all cost. He reached out a weary hand, and hesitantly placed in on Harry's shoulder. The moment they made contact, the pressure of the silence became too much, and the curly haired boy broke down.

Soft sobs escaped his quivering lips, and he hung his head, squeezing his eyes closed and trying to disappear. Louis ran his hand up and down Harry's back, humming softly, and "shhh"ing the trembling mess of a man. He wanted to kiss him, press his lips to Harry's, and forget about everything else. He wanted to feel Harry against his chest, and feel his breath in his lungs, distracting him from whatever was causing this kind of pain. Harry raised his head to look at Louis, as if he heard his thoughts. He looked him, straight in the eyes, and whispered something that Louis only heard in middle of the night, when he was tight in sleep's grasp.

"Do it."

Louis froze.

"W-what?"

"You heard me. Lou, I've known you for years, I can tell what you're thinking. Do it. Kiss me."

Louis couldn't move. He never thought Harry would ever say that to him. Before he had time to plan out his next move, he was suddenly interrupted by a soft pair of Cheshire lips against his own. Louis drew in a sharp breath, his eyes wide open and locked onto Harry's closed ones. He raised an enormous hand to Louis' feathered fringe, clutching a fistful, and pulling a muffled moan from his lungs. Their lips fit together perfectly, as if they were made for only each other. They remained there for a while, holding the other in a warm embrace, never wanting to let them go. Harry pulled away, his eyes widening in disbelief.

"I-I'm sorry, Louis. I don't know what came over me," he stammered, standing up from the bed, and hastily exiting the room, taking the warmth that enclosed Louis with him. He sat there in a haze, attempting to comprehend what just happened not ten seconds ago. Light slipped down the wall and across the floor, following in the setting sun's footsteps. Louis leaned against the headboard, listening to the lulling rhythm of his lungs expanding and contracting. A tear slipped down the side of his face, and hit the deep valleys in the bed sheets with a soft thud. His grazed wrist continued to sting. Louis pulled his thin sleeve down, and let himself sink into the bed under him.

_What the hell just happened?_

His mind raced with thoughts of Harry. _Was he gay? No, no, I've seen him with girls before, and he was happy. Wasn't he? I don't remember him ever laughing or smiling with them. But why me? Never in a million years did I think Harry would swing that way, let alone go for a guy like me. Fuck, I'm so confused._

He exhaled deeply and squeezed his eyes shut. Rolling over onto his side, he put his back to the door and hugged his pillow tight against his chest. It was cold against his face from the tear patches scattered among the thin white case. His breathing slowed to a steady pace, mimicking the waves that gently lapped at the sandy white shore.

_Why is Harry so fucking complicated_?

A/N: Short chapter, sorry guys :( I'll UD again right now! xx


	4. Chapter 4

Louis woke up a little later than he had expected. Usually he can't sleep, and when he does, it's never for very long, but today was different. He swung his legs over the bed, and stood up, softly padding across the carpet. He turned the corner into the living room, and saw Harry. He was propped up on the couch, his eyes pink and swollen, his nose a sniffling mess.

"Harry?" Louis called to him. He jumped, startled to see Louis right in front of him with so little warning, as if he didn't see him approach.

"Oh, hi, morning Lou," he mumbled through a weak smile. Louis felt like he was going to be sick.

"Are you alright, Haz? You look like you've been crying."

"Nah, I'm fine, just watched, uh- and emotional documentary," Harry said, panic causing him to fumble with his words. Louis picked up on the pure bullshit Harry produced, and decided to play him at his own game.

"Oh really? What about?"

Harry's eyes went wide as he searched for a suitable lie.

"Oh, you know, just, uh-, the history of, uh...b..o.a.t.s?"

"The history of boats, huh? And what did you learn?" Louis questioned him, a mischievous smile playing on his lips once he saw a bead of sweat roll down Harry's neck.

"They, uh-, they can, transport stuff. A lot of stuff," he said, his voice shaking under the pressure.

"You watched an entire _emotional _documentary on boats, and the only thing you learned was that they can carry a lot of stuff? Is that what you're telling me, Harry?"

"Look, it was long, I don't remember all the details, okay?

"Okay, okay, whatever you say, Mr. PantsOnFire."

Harry rolled his watery eyes at the subtle remark, letting out a soft giggle. Louis' heart jumped up in his chest. He was so comforted by that one simple noise, so relieved to hear it. He almost forgot what it was like to see Harry happy. He walked to the refrigerator, after laying a ceramic bowl on the counter. After pouring himself a mixture of cereal and milk, he sat next to Harry on the cream couch, facing their 42' flatscreen TV. They blankly stared at the images flashed on the screen, not even registering what the hell they were watching.

"Have you talked to any of the boys today?" Louis asked, turning to face his best friend, his honey colored fringe swishing to the side with the movement.

"Yeah. Liam called to see if you were up yet," he replied coldly. The mood in the room changed, any and all warmth sucked down through the floorboards.

"Odd. What's wrong?" Louis said, sensing the sudden tension between them.

"Nothing. I'm just sick of Liam always checking up on you. It's like he doesn't trust me or something. Besides, you play right into it. You love the attention from him, don't you?"

Louis' eyes were wide and locked on Harry's.

"I-I never noticed, actually," he stammered.

"Don't fuck with me, Louis. I'm not stupid."

Louis didn't even know what was going on at this point. He honestly never had noticed anything strange from Liam, just typical friend stuff, nothing more. What would make Harry make such a wild accusation?

"Harry, I don't know what's been going on with you lately, but are you okay? Is there something you want to tell me? You know I'm here for you Har-"

Louis was cut off by Harry's fist straight to the jaw. His cereal spilled to the floor, Louis following shortly after. His face throbbed, the blood pumping through his ears. He was dazed, and the room was spinning. Harry always did have quite the hit. Louis lied on the ground, the left side of his face gripped tightly in his hands. He heard Harry say something, but couldn't quite make it out over the heavy pulsation in his ears, then he left.

Louis tried so hard to keep himself together. He kept softly chanting to himself, "Don't cry, don't cry, con't cry, oh god, please don't fucking cry," but it was not helpful in the slightest. It couldn't change the fact that Harry, the love of his life, just struck him across the face in anger. Tears rushed down his bruising face, mixing with the blood seeping from the cut, from where one of Harry's many silver rings bit him. Sobbing, Louis pushed himself up to his feet, and slowly staggered to the bathroom. He examined himself in the mirror, disgusted with what he saw. A fourth of his face was covered in a cloudy plum colored bruise, blood trickling down his neck and staining the collar of his shirt with a bold red. He grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, tossing it to the ground with a muffled thud.

_Keep it together, Lou._

He was simply a mess. Red, stinging cuts were scattered among the flesh of his left arm and torso. The blood from Harry's outburst now trailed down his fragile figure. His ribs and collar bones were drastically prominent, due to the lack of food he had allowed himself to be eating recently. Louis was disgusted. His lips began to quiver, and he hung his head. He squeezed his eyes shut, hopeless tears brimming his eyelids, and slipping down his damaged profile.

_Just go back to your room, and try to sleep through this nightmare._

A/N: I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG, dear lord. Ok, it's here now, I love you guys xx (PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK)


	5. Authors Note

Hey! Sorry if you thought this was an update, I just wanted to let you know that I haven't forgotten about you! I'll be updating very soon, I promise. xx


	6. Chapter 5

Louis woke up, and shot up in his bed. There was another dull thud from downstairs, followed by a muffled voice cursing his surroundings, a voice that could only have been Harry's. Louis threw back his covers, and cracked open his bedroom door, listening for his mate's troubled tone once more.

"Fuckin' A!" Harry's voice echoed through their flat and up the steps, greeting Louis at the top of the staircase. He started down the steps, taking them one at a time, craning to see anything that might help him understand what exactly was going on. Harry's back was to him, much to Louis' relief. He touched the carpet of the last stair, his eyes locked on the taller boys heaving shoulder blades. His curls were sticking to the back of his neck, noticeably fastened by excessive sweat. _He looks beautiful._

"H-Harry?"

He spun around, the thick alcohol that hung in the air, nearly pushing him to the ground. His eyes were hollow and mean looking, signaling Louis that he may be over his head a bit.

"WhAt the fUCK do yOU want LOU?" he slurred, his harsh words biting Louis in the face.

"I just wanted to see what the hell you were doing down here at..1:36 in the fucking morning," he spat back, pausing to look at the small clock on the microwave behind Harry.

"Well, I gOT IT under controL, LOOIE, aha, stupid fuckin name."

"Harry, please, just go to bed, you'll feel better in the morning."

"YOU KNOW WHAT? How about yOU GO LEAVE THE FUCKING BAND? WE DON'T NEED YOU, LOUIS. I mean, just LOOK AT HOW FUCKING THIN AND SCRAWNY YOU ARE? yOU'RE CLEARLY THE WEAKEST AND LEAST IMPORTANT OF ALL OF US," Harry boomed, his voice shaking the windows with every venomous word that spilled from his drunken mouth. Tears stung at Louis' eyes, threatening to overtake him.

"MAYBE I WLL LEAVE, HARRY. I'LL LEAVE AND NEVER COME BACK. NOT THAT THAT MEANS ANYTHING TO YOU, NOT LIKE YOU ACTUALLY EVER WANTED ME HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE," he screamed, letting a constant stream of tears fall from his bloodshot eyes.

"GOOD. I'VE ALREADY FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU, AND HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU. FUCK YOU LOUIS. HAVE FUN FUCKING YOU'RE LITTLE BUDDY, LIAM, FAGGOT," Harry shouted back, beginning to tear up himself.

Louis stopped. His heart sunk.

"How dare you. How. Dare you. Fuck you, Harry. I hope I never see you again," Louis sobbed, grabbing his jean jacket, slipping on his Toms, and throwing open the front door, slamming it behind him. He heard something fall to the ground, and shatter behind the door.

_Probably the picture of Harry and I._

He let out a dry sob at the thought, pressing the back of his hand to his mouth, and sprinting from the house as fast as he possibly could. He tried to think of something to make him run faster, but stopped once he realized that there is nothing he would rather get away from in that moment then Harold Styles. His black Toms tapped against the cement as his paced slowed to a comfortable walk. He felt something in his pocket, and reached in to fish it out. He forced a weak smile once he realized it was his iPod in his shaking hand. He shoved the earbuds in, and set it so shuffle. However, his smile quickly faded once "_Nothing" _by The Script began to softly play.

_Harry loves The Script._

Louis moved his thumb over the skip button, but stopped once the opening lyrics grazed his ears.

_**Am I better off dead?**_  
_**Am I better off a quitter?**_  
_**They say I'm better off now,**_  
_**Than I ever was with her.**_  
_**As they take me to my local down the street,**_  
_**I'm smiling but I'm dying trying not to drag my feet.**_

They weren't perfect for his situation with Harry, but the overall negative feel to the song was enough for Louis' tears to quicken their pace. He ran the nights events through his mind. Harry's violent word echoed through his thoughts.

"_Leave the band."_

_"You're clearly the least important."_

_"I've already forgotten about you, and how much I love you."_

_Wait._

_What?_

His eyes widened in disbelief. _Did Harry say he loved me?_ He turned around, setting his course straight back to his flat. He caught himself by surprise when he began to run back to where he started, eager to find out what Harry was hiding.

A/N: I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. I will update again right away, I'm pretty sure the story is gonna end next chapter. Unless you don't want it to? Idk, tell me if you want the update! xoxo


	7. Chapter 6

Louis threw open the door to his flat, his eyes grazing his surroundings, searching for the boy he left in tears.

"Harry?" he called out, almost nervous that he would get a reply.

The apartment was empty, a heavy silence hanging in the air. Broken beer bottles littered the floor, the shards reflecting back into Louis' stinging red eyes. He carefully stepped around the glass, straining to pick up any sign of where Harry was. A muffled sob sounded through the flat, followed by a sharp intake of breath and another broken wail. Louis turned the corner, not at all prepared for what he saw.

"Harry. Wh-what are you doing?"

Harry's attention snapped up to Louis' face. His bloodshot eyes blazed straight through him, Louis' mouth agape.

"I'm sorry Lou," he finally spoke, his voice red and scratchy from the rope tempting to restrict his air supply at any slight loss of balance.

"Harry, stop, please, you don't have to be sorry, you did nothing wrong, please, come down from there," Louis plead, tears slipping into the corners of his mouth.

"It's no use, Louis. What's the point anymore?"

"Harry, please, I'm begging you, come down from there," he sobbed, his words fast and sloppy.

"I can't anymore, Lou. I'm just done."

"Harry, why would you do this, what are you talking about? You're the most popular member of the band, thousands of people would be heartbroken," he sobbed out.

"NO ONE WHO MATTERS. AFTER 3 YEARS OF KNOWING YOU I CAN'T SEEM TO GET YOUR FUCKING ATTENTION. I SWEAR TO GOD, LOUIS, IT'S LIKE YOU SEE RIGHT OVER ME. FUCK YOU, LOUIS. I GUESS IT'S MY FAULT THOUGH, HUH? I SHOULD'VE KNOWN I'D NEVER HAVE A CHANCE WITH MR. "EVERYONE LOVES ME" TOMLINSON," Harry screamed.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I'VE BEEN DROOLING OVER YOU LIKE A FUCKING SCHOOL GIRL EVER SINCE THE DAY WE MET IN THE BATHROOM OF X FACTOR. HOWEVER, BEING THE WORLDS FAVORITE, I JUST TOOK INTO CONSIDERATION THE MINUSCULE AMOUNT OF CHANCE I HAD."

Harry stopped. He squinted at Louis, and cocked his head to the side.

"What?" he whispered.

Louis froze.

Shit, shit, shit.

Harry slowly pulled his neck from the rope, stepping down from the chair and staring at him quizzically.

"You've been, what?"

Louis' heart pounded against the inside of his chest, as sweat began to form on the back of his neck and his forehead. His lungs burned with panic, looking for a valid response to feed to his panting flatmate.

"I-I, just-"

Louis' eyes shot open to the feeling of Harry forcefully pinning him up against the nearest wall and crashing their lips together. After the initial shock and hesitation, Louis wound a tight fist in Harry's hair, deepening the heated kiss and earning a soft moan from him. Louis snickered at the noise, angering the curly haired, highly flustered boy. He dug his fingertips into Louis' hips, forcing purple bruises into the soft flesh. He winced in a blend of pain and pleasure, pushing his thigh between Harry's. He moved to Louis' neck, sucking and biting the area just below his ear. Louis hissed at the feeling of Harry's tongue, flicking over the string of stinging russet bruises accenting his olive skin.

"Fuck Harry, wh-what are you doing," he choked out, a dense lust set in his voice.

"Shut up," he murmured, his mouth still secured to Louis, hips thrusting against Louis' thigh.

Harry hastily pulled Louis' shirt over his head, tossing it over his shoulder, eyes never leaving the cerulean ones in front of him.

Louis froze.

Harry examined the details set in Louis' figure. His limbs were slimmer than expected, brittle bones almost jutting out from his skin. Ivory scars laced around his arms, thighs, and chest, forming what looked like a series of linear cracks flawing all of his features.

Harry's heart sunk to his feet.

"Louis? Wh-what happened?" he whispered, more to himself than to Louis. He knew what happened, what was happening. Louis stood, silent. Harry watched as tears brimmed through his hazel eyelashes, and fell down his face, knowing there were no words for what he had done to himself. Harry's hands went to the hem of his own shirt, and Louis watched as he lifted the fabric over his head, dropping it to the floor. Louis' eyes trailed up his friends torso, eyes widening a little more the farther up he went. Chestnut grooves were scattered among larger, pink and puffy stripes inflicted upon Harry's own skin.

Bewildered, he took a step forward, and wiped Louis' tears away with the pads of his thumbs. He pressed a heavy, loving kiss to his lips, and sensed that neither of them wanted to talk about it at the moment. His head buried in the crook of Louis' neck, his large hands gripped the back of his legs, lifting him off the ground and forcing him to straddle him, and started to walk off to the guest bedroom down the hall. Louis took the opportunity for control, and slid his tongue into the Cheshire boy's mouth, running along the roof and the back of his teeth, driving Harry absolutely mad. Louis took Harry's bottom lip between his teeth, knowing exactly what he was doing. Harry tore open the door, throwing Louis in a heap on the bed. He let out a childish giggle, landing among the white duvet.

That's gonna be a bitch to clean when we're done.

Harry leaned over him, laying between Louis' already spread legs. He kissed and nipped down his honey coloured torso, stopping just below his belly button. A devilish smirk slid across his face as an idea formed in his clouded mind. He took a firm hold on either of Louis' wrists, pinning him down, and slowly grinding into the boy beneath him. Louis let out a throaty moan and tossed his head back into the pillows, his mouth agape and his face twisted up in pleasure.

"Harry please, d-don't be such a f-fucking tease," he hissed.

He hooked his long fingers in the belt loops of Louis' black skinny jeans, and pulled them down torturously slow, taking his boxerbriefs with them. He pushed the discarded clothing on the ground, along with the rest of his, and rested all his attention on the writhing mess of a boy in front of him. Harry leaned down, pressing a string of slow kisses to the inside of Louis' thighs, each one a little closer to where he knew he needed him most.

"Fuck, Harry, please," Louis whimpered.

Harry let his lips brush against the head, sending a jolt through the clearly flustered boy. His breath ghosted down Louis' length.

"Beg," Harry commanded coldly.

"Harry, just do it please, I can't."

"Beg, Louis. We both know you can't last much longer," he purred, kitten licking a bead of pre-come from the top.

"Fuck, please Harry, I need it, I need you, please just do it," Louis rushed out, all in a single messy string of words. Harry managed a satisfied grin before taking as much of Louis in as he could. His breath hitched in his throat as he watched Harry do the things he did. The sight of Harry's blush coloured lips stretched around him like that, moving up and down, softly humming around his cock, was enough to drive him crazy. Louis' hands searched for something to latch onto, his left white knuckling a fistfull of the duvet beneath them, his right finding Harry's sweaty mop of curls. The sounds of Harry's gagging and Louis' constant profanity were the only things breaking the rooms silence. He began to lose control, thrusting into Harry's mouth and hitting him in the back of the throat over and over again. Tears stung at Harry's eyes and rolled off the bridge of his nose. Louis let out a sharp cry as he released into Harry's mouth, causing him to twitch against flush his stomach, smirking around his flatmate. He pulled off Louis' softening cock, crawling up to crash together again. Louis could still taste himself in Harry's mouth, his tongue slipping through the boys bruising lips.

"You're so pretty when you fall apart, babe," he mumbled against Louis' skin.

He reached a hand down between them to tend to Harry's neglected cock. He pumped him at a steady pace, occasionally swiping his thumb over the head, only going off of how he liked to do it to himself. Harry's lips began to become limp against Louis' mouth, their foreheads pressed together, lungs exchanging the same warm air. Harry gripped Louis' wrist, tearing it away from his throbbing erection, and flipping the boy onto his front. His cock rutted between Louis' cheeks, Harry's enourmous body leaning over and completely overpowering Louis' much smaller figure. Harry's breath rushed out against Louis' ear, sending a shiver up his spine, his hands clenching in the mess of duvet around them. The dominant boy slipped a finger inside of him, working quickly and adding a second, then a third, scissoring his partner open.

"Fuck, Harry, that's enough, I'm ready just, please, take me already," Louis breathed, becoming impatient, due to the drag of his cock against Louis' ass.

Without another word, he aligned himself with Louis, and pushed inside of him, a soft gasp falling from both of their lips simultaneously. Grabbing a fistfull of Louis' hair, Harry set a slow pace, rolling his hips into Louis with every careful thrust. Beads of sweat built up on his chest and torso, trailing down his front and rolling into the deep v-lines on either side of his pelvis.

"Oh god, Harry, fuck," Louis moaned, his head growing heavy, a familiar knot balling up in his stomach.

"Lou, I'm close," Harry warned him. He knew Louis was close too, relentlessly pounding into the bundle of nerves with every heated thrust. They cried out each others names, hitting their high, Harry nearly ripping Louis in half, and the latter lad burying his face in the blankets he was so desperately clinging to. Harry slowed his pace, eventually slipping out, and collapsing beside Louis.

"Fuck," Louis whispered, clearly out of breath.

"Agreed," panted Harry, rolling over and draping a weary arm around the smaller of the two, pressing soft kisses to the back of his neck.

They had an endless list of things to discuss about the nights events, things that they would have to talk about sooner or later, but in that moment, neither of them had ever been happier, and decided to just leave it at that. They loved each other, and neither of them had to be alone anymore. They were together now, and that was all they needed to recover from the damage that was done.

~Fin~

A/N: I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG, but I hope you liked it! Thank you for all the wonderful comments and subscriptions, ily guys xx


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